The time for sharpened pencils and bookbags returns...

Last night I am sitting on my couch, watching TV with my husband, when I pick up my day planner and started looking through it. All of a sudden, I hear a high pitched noise that resembles a siren. I look to my left and see my sweet husband, almost in tears, with a big frown on his face- and the noise is coming from him! I ask, "What's the matter?!" He points at the planner accusingly and says, "What is THAT?!" I say, "It's my planner." He says, "Why is it here? It means "Fall Cat" is coming soon!" I say, "I guess so, I only have two weeks of summer left and I technically have to go back to work next week." He is devastated to lose his summer love. So I implore you my friends, help me keep Summer Cat alive all year long. Remind me of how much fun I am during the warmer months and help me to do all the fun things I am capable of during the school year! My husband deserves a summer wife all year long. :)

"Summer Cat" Is Back

It's the first day of summer and already, I feel different. There is just something to be said for 9 full weeks off with nothing to do except what you choose. Today, no one talked to me, I didn't have to break up any arguments, and I didn't have anyone ask me any questions except, "How do those fit?" It was a joy to go shopping by myself and not have to feel rushed to finish before the mall closed (like I usually do on a weeknight, or when I am with my husband). I ate lunch and didn't have to ask anyone else what they wanted, or try to cram in some extra work while I shoveled in my food. I watched Rachael Ray and got a pedicure. Tomorrow I may go to the beach by myself. Life should be like this all year long. Man, I love summertime. :)

IT'S ALIVE!

Metaphorically speaking, that is. When we bought our house two years ago and started to fix it up, it took on a life of it's own. Today I am the proud parent of bathroom tiles. Yes, that's correct. We are actually putting on finishes in this living, breathing, money sucking monster! Here is a picture of my father-in-law (sitting in the bathtub) putting up the first row of tiles. I was so excited, I almost cried. There actually IS an end in sight. :)

The Jelly Fish

You know how when you get stung by a jellyfish, you don't always realize it right away? They brush over your skin all silky and gentle and then wham! red, hot pain. That is how almost every conversation I have with my principal ends up. She has a way of complimenting you that has the same effect. You leave her office feeling pretty upbeat and then wham! she gets you. For instance today, after complimenting me twice in one week, she was telling me about my new co-teacher for next year and the subject of demo lessons came up. Here is how the conversation went:

Principal Ronnie: We've seen a lot of demo lessons lately and some of them were real duds.
me: Really?
Principal Ronnie: Yes...Did you do a demo lesson for us?
me: No, actually I was hired in the summer and there were no kids in school at the time.
Principal Ronnie: Thaaaat's right. You snuck in without having to do one. (chuckle)
me: I guess so. I hope you haven't been disappointed with what you've seen thus far! (jokingly)
Ria (asst principal): No, no, of course not! hahaha
Principal Ronnie: No, but you can really see some things when people come in for a demo. Things you might not see in an interview.
me: Hm.
Principal Ronnie: If you had done a demo, I would have seen things. (smug smile)
me: Riiiight...

Basically this passive aggressive tone creeps into every single conversation I have EVER had with her. And luckily it isn't just me. ALL the other teachers in my school have left her office with a sting. She makes it a point to compliment us as a whole (during staff meetings, for example) and then makes us feel so down trodden and unworthy that we're greatful to even have a job when we speak with her alone! She's like an abusive spouse, making you believe you are such a piece of shit that no one will ever want you, and convincing you that they have done you a favor by keeping you around, so you never leave. Let me just say, I can't wait until next year when I try to get pregnant so I can get the HELL outta there! Has anyone else ever had a boss like this?

I miss my brother...

When I was younger, this was a song that always made me think of him. I got to see him last weekend for his college graduation (GO TULANE!) and it reminded me how much I miss having him nearby.

Only a Dream

Mary Chapin Carpenter

I can recall the sound of the wind

As it blew throught the trees and the trees would bend

I can recall the smell of the rain

On a hot summer night

Coming through the screen

I'd crawl in your bed when the lightning flashed

And I'd still be there when the storm had passed

Dead to the world, to the morning cast

Its light all around your room

We lived on a street where the tall elm shade

Was as green as the grass and as cool as a blade

That you held in your teeth as we lay on our backs

Staring up at the blue and the blue stared back

I used to believe we were just like those trees

We'd grown just as tall and as proud as we pleased

With our feet on the ground and our arms in the breeze

Under a sheltering sky

Twirl me about, and twirl me around

Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground

And when I look up at you looking down, Say it was only a dream

A big truck was parked in the drive one day

They wrapped us in paper and moved us away

Your room was no longer next door to mine

And this kid sister thing was old by that time

But oh how our dreams went bump in the night

And the voices downstairs getting into a fight

And the next day a silence you could cut with a knife

And feel like a blade at your throat

Twirl me about and twirl me around

Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground

When I look up at you looking down

Say it as only a dream

The day you left home you got an early start

I watched your car back out in the dark

I opened the door to your room down the hall

I turned on the light

And all that I saw

Was a bed and a desk and couple of tacks

No sign of someone who expects to be back

It must have been one hell of a suitcase you packed

Twirl me about, twirl me around

Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground

When I look up at you looking down

Say it was only a dream

"There's a weevil in my biscuit!"

Yesterday I did a cooking project with my fourth grade students who are studying Pilgrims. We made a typical Pilgrim staple called "hardtack", which is really nothing more than flour, water and a pinch of salt. You knead it like a pizza dough, then spread it on a cookie sheet, score it with a fork to release as much moisture as possible, and bake it at 400 degrees, for about 30 minutes. The end result is a piping hot tray of rocks capable of breaking all the teeth in a fourth graders mouth. To be SUPER authentic, this morning I rebaked the little nuggets for another 20 minutes, just to ensure their crunchy, crispy, granite-like texture. I went to the fourth grade and had my kids stand in front of the class and spout off facts about hardtack (it can last for years, it got moldy on the Mayflower, it had weevils and maggots in it, etc.) and then I handed out samples to all the kids. I waited excitedly for the cries or "Eeew! Gross! I'm gonna be sick! I think there's a maggot in mine!", etc... You know what I got? "Can we have the recipe?"
Little bastards. :)

Twitchy Bitchy

Last week my left eyelid started to twitch uncontrollably. I convinced myself that my husband was at fault (from something inconsiderate that he did) that it gave me a twitch. I held this begrudging anger inside until Friday night when we were (what else?) drinking beers and I unburdened myself to him. I told him that I thought this twitch was all his fault and I couldn't take it anymore, it was like the beating heart under the floorboards of Poe's Raven and I had to get it off my chest (and my eye) or I'd go nuts!! So I tell him how he hurt my feelings and he feels like shit and I felt so relieved, when... (twitch). My eye (twitch) started to (twitch) again.
So now, not only am I a twitchy wife , but I'm also a bitchy wife. :)

Wine-O

Why do I fall for it every time? It seems harmless enough while I'm doing it, then I reap the whirlwind the next day. Yes, I'm talking about alcohol. I remember the days, a few short years ago, when I could drink a whole 12 pack of beer without getting sick and now 4 glasses of wine and I can't function the next day. What a difference 10 years makes in my liver function and my ability to recover after a night of good times! Does anyone esle notice that their body isn't quite what it used to be?

A funny article excerpt...

I read this in a magazine today and it struck a chord with me since I am now a part of an Italian family that is chock full o' women. Elizabeth McCracken hit the nail in the head...

" You see two kinds of women in Italy: young, six-foot-tall slender women, who stride around like sexy praying mantises, and elderly, five-foot-tall plump women in cloth coats, who answer to the name Nonna. My theory is that there's a machine somewhere, the Nonnanator 2000, maybe, and by law all Italian women must go through it and get compressed on their 41st birthdays. Occasionally, a woman will be excused because of extraordinary service to the country-this explains Sophia Loren- but otherwise it's manditory."

"You're not in Kansas anymore, lady!"

An angry pizza shop worker shouted this at me today while I was taking two of my fifth grade students to lunch. We were indecisive and slow and held up the line for 30 whole seconds. The kids felt uncomfortable because the guy was rushing us and so did I. I felt very angry at the time, but afterwards I felt sad. Why do people feel the need to make you feel stupid when you are just trying to make it through life like everyone else? And why do they feel the need to vent their opinions of you in front of children?